yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just google imaged poop.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
