Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
