My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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