well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
