there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
