Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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