it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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