How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
