i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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