2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The uberlube is also flammable
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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