My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
