Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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