Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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