It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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