honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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