Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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