i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
