The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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