Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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