The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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