so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
