just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
