I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
