Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
