I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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