If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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