how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just blew my weed a kiss
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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