I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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