everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize