im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You can't special order awesome
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize