i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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