@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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