with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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