I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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