He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
