i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
