her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Too much gin, very little bucket
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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