We're like a lot better than the average bears
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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