How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
