I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Everything about him screamed your future.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
