Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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