dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
