Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Did I show you my penis last night?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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