OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
