Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
