I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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