You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize