so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
