the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
