God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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