hell yes lets make some ravioli
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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