OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I faked an abortion last night.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
