turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
