Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
