You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
