That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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