somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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