Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
