the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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