it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
